In 1984 I was hospitalized for approaching perfection

The Silver Jews – (Song: Random Rules) —

Dylan Huggins: I put a firefly in my butt-hole.
Marty Huggins: Why?
Dylan Huggins: So I could see my farts glow.

The Campaign —

You put sunscreen on a grape because you didn’t want it turning into a raisin.

Jane, Happy Endings (via unchartedlife) —

I’ve read it wrong the first time I thought it was “the secret of shaving it all is believing you already do”

I mean why?

But for now, Little Miranda, know this: we all have our worries about our bodies and our looks. We just need to make the best of our lovely, wonky selves. The key is never to compare and try to be something you’re not…We are all unique, which makes us beautiful; so never despair, and just chill the hell out about it all.

Miranda Hart talking to her 18 year old self in Is It Just Me? (via varjaks) —

differentbreeds:

June: “I’ve always wanted to go to a real, live “Hampton’s lighthouse”! With the rainy weather, and a fisherman’s sweater - on a bike, with a sandwich. And my thoughts-”

Chloe: “-I almost just hit you—I almost just lost control, and hit you.”

- Don’t Trust The B—— In Apartment 23

When you consider things like the stars, our affairs don’t seem to matter very much, do they?

Virginia Woolf (via misswallflower) —

Why don’t they just have sex in the garden?

Gabe, watching ‘Parade’s End’ (via jim-moriarty-sends-his-love) —

“Joe Longo’s book will not only teach the secrets to finance, it’ll teach you how to fly… […] Aaaaaahhh!”