t0ughcookie:

woodmeat:

"if uon getcho gahdam…."

“Fuck does she want now…”

t0ughcookie:

woodmeat:

"if uon getcho gahdam…."

“Fuck does she want now…”

(Source: tastefullyoffensive)

Tags   #omg  
Anonymous asked : your husband seems like a dick kill him. also does ghosts still exist?

itseasytoremember:

billyteddy:

he is a dick and killing him is on my list, but he’s attractive so i’m going to get one more kid out of him

i’m not sure on the ghost front, i guess we’ll find out after i kill my husband and put his gravestone in my backyard 

YOU NEED TO MAKE IT MORE OBVIOUS THAT THIS IS ABOUT THE SIMS

Tags   #omg   #lulz  

queenofattolia:

tzikeh:

emilianadarling:

qemfd:

Nicholas Brendon, who played Xander in Buffy, is now as old as Anthony Head was when the show first started.

Discuss.

image

Oh God I’m so old

jibblyuniverse:

To the sweat run down my american balls

rabioheab:

my dog was supposed to be a police dog but he failed the training for it because he was too much of a wimp. the trainers said that when he was supposed to be attacking dummies he’d run up to them and roll over and wag his tail and they also said he was the worst failure they’d ever seen 

dirtyavengerssecrets:

SUBMISSION
“I want to have sex with Steve while “National Anthem” by Lana del Rey plays in the back.”

dirtyavengerssecrets:

SUBMISSION

I want to have sex with Steve while “National Anthem” by Lana del Rey plays in the back.”

Tags   #omg   #lulz  

warpedlamp:

When a plan goes off without a hitch when it shouldn’t have worked at all.

image

Tags   #omg  

isherlolly:

saaga:

Benedict Cumberbatch accepts his GQ award aka the best award speech 
he has done [x]

he drunk.

Tags   #omg  
mcgregorswench:

sh-ocking:

zaynhappened:

hatchworthsmoustache:

missjraffe:

cvn-t:

The hottest things I’ve ever been told.

I’m just picturing someone screaming “BONJOUR” at a penis

#SACRE BLEU MADEMOISELLE VAGINA#HON HON HON TITTY CROISSANTS

TITTY CROISSANTS

None of you should ever be having sex




I’m french and I am officially distressed.

mcgregorswench:

sh-ocking:

zaynhappened:

hatchworthsmoustache:

missjraffe:

cvn-t:

The hottest things I’ve ever been told.

I’m just picturing someone screaming “BONJOUR” at a penis

#SACRE BLEU MADEMOISELLE VAGINA#HON HON HON TITTY CROISSANTS

TITTY CROISSANTS

None of you should ever be having sex

image

image

I’m french and I am officially distressed.

(Source: youngsta-tes)

mcgregorswench:

avengersonna:

Did you know that if you say Dorito three times in the bathroom mirror Chris Evans Will come out and touch your left boob

image

getinthehandbasket:

I’m going to start calling some of my rare pairs “tugboats:” my ship is tiny but it keeps chugging along.

Tags   #omg   #lulz  

ohtinuviel:

inspired by everyone

Tags   #omg   #lotr  

First Trailer for ’The Disappearance of Eleanor Rigby’

(Source: Yahoo!)

deducecanoe:

takshammy:

the-grudge-girl:

I live in Osaka, Japan and often use the subway to go to work in the morning. One day while I was waiting for the train, I noticed a homeless man standing in the corner of the subway station muttering to himself as people passed by. He was holding out a cup and seemed to be begging for spare change.
An overweight woman passed by the homeless man and I distinctly heard him say, “Pig.”
Wow, this man is insulting people and he still expects them to give him money?
Then a tall businessman went by and the man muttered, “Human.”
Human? I can’t argue with that. Obviously, he was human.
The next day, I arrived early at the subway station and had some time to kill, so I decided to stand close to the homeless man and listen to his strange mutterings.  A thin, haggard-looking man passed in front of him and I heard the homeless guy mutter, “Cow.” Cow? The man was much too skinny to be a cow. To me, he resembled a turkey or a chicken. A minute or so later, an obese man went by and the homeless man said, “Potato.” Potato? I was under the impression that he called all fat people “Pig”.
That day at work, I couldn’t stop thinking about the homeless man and his puzzling behavior. I kept trying to find some logic or pattern in what he as muttering. Perhaps he has some kind of psychic ability. In Japan many people believe in reincarnation, so maybe he knows what these people were during a previous life. I observed the man many times and began to think my theory was right. I often heard him calling people things like “Rabbit”, “Onion”, “Sheep”, or “Tomato”.
One day, curiosity got the better of me and I decided to ask him what was going on. As I walked up to him, he looked at me and said, “Bread.” I tossed some money into his cup and asked him if he had some kind of psychic ability. The man smiled and said, “Yes, indeed. It is an ability I obtained many years ago, but it’s not what you might expect. I can’t tell the future or read minds or anything like that.”
“Then what is your ability?” I asked eagerly.
“The ability is merely to know the last thing somebody ate,” he said.
I laughed because I realized he was right. He said, “Bread.” The last thing I had eaten for breakfast that day was toast. I walked away shaking my head. Of all the psychic abilities someone could have, that one must be the most useless.

This story increases in terrifyingness if you read it again after you read it the first time

I don’t think the person was a cannibal. They probably just had a bit of dick before they left for work.

deducecanoe:

takshammy:

the-grudge-girl:

I live in Osaka, Japan and often use the subway to go to work in the morning. One day while I was waiting for the train, I noticed a homeless man standing in the corner of the subway station muttering to himself as people passed by. He was holding out a cup and seemed to be begging for spare change.

An overweight woman passed by the homeless man and I distinctly heard him say, “Pig.”

Wow, this man is insulting people and he still expects them to give him money?

Then a tall businessman went by and the man muttered, “Human.”

Human? I can’t argue with that. Obviously, he was human.

The next day, I arrived early at the subway station and had some time to kill, so I decided to stand close to the homeless man and listen to his strange mutterings.  A thin, haggard-looking man passed in front of him and I heard the homeless guy mutter, “Cow.” Cow? The man was much too skinny to be a cow. To me, he resembled a turkey or a chicken. A minute or so later, an obese man went by and the homeless man said, “Potato.” Potato? I was under the impression that he called all fat people “Pig”.

That day at work, I couldn’t stop thinking about the homeless man and his puzzling behavior. I kept trying to find some logic or pattern in what he as muttering. Perhaps he has some kind of psychic ability. In Japan many people believe in reincarnation, so maybe he knows what these people were during a previous life. I observed the man many times and began to think my theory was right. I often heard him calling people things like “Rabbit”, “Onion”, “Sheep”, or “Tomato”.

One day, curiosity got the better of me and I decided to ask him what was going on. As I walked up to him, he looked at me and said, “Bread.” I tossed some money into his cup and asked him if he had some kind of psychic ability. The man smiled and said, “Yes, indeed. It is an ability I obtained many years ago, but it’s not what you might expect. I can’t tell the future or read minds or anything like that.”

“Then what is your ability?” I asked eagerly.

“The ability is merely to know the last thing somebody ate,” he said.

I laughed because I realized he was right. He said, “Bread.” The last thing I had eaten for breakfast that day was toast. I walked away shaking my head. Of all the psychic abilities someone could have, that one must be the most useless.

This story increases in terrifyingness if you read it again after you read it the first time

I don’t think the person was a cannibal. They probably just had a bit of dick before they left for work.

Tags   #omg  
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Usedkarma
Ophelie, french, old.
This blog is mainly a place to share, to laugh and to think.I do graphics thanks to photoshop.I sometimes write fanfictions, well more short stuff that I call 'writing'.I try to be funny but I'm mainly silly .Feminist.Let's hang out virtually so we won't share cooties. You can see my other blogs on the links.

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